Do you have a moment to talk about the Corn King?

You are visitor:

Welcome to the World Wide Web’s primary source for all information about the Corn King! Take a look around and learn more about how you can help Him prepare for the coming era of Eternal Harvest! If you have found this website, then the Corn King has guided you here to learn of His grace and his power!

Who Is the Corn King?

“For the hungry, He shall feed.
For the lost, He provides a straight row to walk.
For the weary, His stalk is a staff of strength.
For the blind, His kernels shine as lanterns in the husk.
For the blasphemer, He casts into the barren field.”
- Book of Elmer

In many ways, you have known Him all along! In today’s modern world, His face is hidden on every supermarket shelf, His body powers mighty engines, His spirit distilled into syrup. You have eaten Him in silence, unknowing, and and still you have turned away from His true name.

Despite our failings to honor Him, He has promised to return and usher in a coming era of Eternal Harvest! In this golden era, His golden crop will reign surpreme, turning the soil to rid the world of cackling crows who peddle grains of false wisdom. The Corn King requires an army of followers to tend the endless fields that will bloom across this barren world.

The Council of the Corn King has revealed prophecy of this Return in 1995 2025! Wander no more, lend your hands to His labor and sleep forever in the Corn King’s Fields!

What is Corn Stock?

To prepare for Eternal Harvest, the Corn King has granted The Council permission to bring news of the Corn King’s return to the outside world! While the Corn King generally frowns upon intoxicating liquors and the profanity of modern music, please join us at the Rose Bowl Tavern in Urbana, IL on Sunday, September 28, 2025, for a special informational and cultural event called CornStock. At CornStock, we hope you will:

• Enjoy musical peformances honoring the King

• Learn more of our culture and history through historical documents and artifacts

• Try your hand at games and diversions at Husky’s Corncade

• Marvel at sacred relics and miraculous occurances

• Learn what the Corn King has planned for you with a live reading from the Kernel of Truth

• Earn the Corn King’s favor through athletic and corn-culinary competitions

• …and more!

Details about CornStock will be coming soon as the Corn King reveals more!

Contact Us!

In order to stay in contact better with today’s youth, you can find us at our brand new page in InstantGram. “Follow” us there!